Today, I woke up and I thought I was fine.

Today, I rose from my bed and thought nothing.

Today, I sat at the wooden breakfast table that all the condiments so perfectly spread and I looked at my friend and smiled.

In that moment, I thought I was fine.

I got my revision books out sat on the floor and my head felt clouded. I dont know why but like a cloud had taken over. I blamed it on me being tired or not understanding

I thought I was fine.

I got dressed smiled at everyone and left, and was looking for the next best thing to relieve my thoughts. I looked to my phone and I called him.

He made me smile.

He made me giggle.

He made me feel relieved.

I went to see him, and thought that everything was fine. But then, I left got on the bus and I was blank. I was lost. The cloud had returned.

I left it, I thought I was fine so I got on the bus, read my book but nothing registered.

I got home being aware I have work to do, knowing that if I dont do it I will fail. But, I couldn’t. I had no reason, no justification. I just couldn’t.

I sat on my chair and switched on my laptop and decided to act fine, I put my headphones on and watched series.

I sat there, hoping to get something out of me but I was just blank. As the episodes changed I looked to my right and I saw the sun and the trees. I smiled, I thought that everything is okay.

But it wasn’t and it isn’t. Because otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this.

And now, I look to my right and its pitch black. I kept telling myself I would stop watching it and begin to work, but I couldn’t.

Because every time I looked at the computer screen, I saw the similarities I had with this girl. I saw her in me.

I saw and realised that I was Hannah baker.

I am writing this, because I know that I am not okay but I am afraid to speak. I am not writing this for attention or to shame anyone. I am writing this because I want to move forward. I do not want to feel empty, I want to live. But, I don’t know how so this here, me writing anonymous is my



Is anyone there?

Right, here we are. Me, this dark rusty old keyboard and you, whoever you may be that has happened to begin reading this. So what am I doing here? good question, one ill yet to find the answer to.

I wonder if this world of blogging will like me or not, I wonder if whoever may read this could potentially be a member of my family or even better the hot guy that I walk past every morning on my way to get the bus.

I hope to find peace in myself and this keyboard, whilst I write away my thoughts, my stories and the ones yet to be made, with readers or not, I promise to this virtual universe to write a piece of my mind onto this dark rusty old keyboard, every week.

So, here goes just one click away to publish my first little snapshot.